divx Ali movies

September 20th, 2008 by freemoviedownloads

Download Ali

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Ali
This has been showing in the U.K. for a long time and is very funny and
a smart way of showing people in a true selves, Unfortunately the
summary of the show is a little misleading…. the character is not
meant to be a "Jamaican-British" but a person from a non-Jamaican
background that thinks he is…It is not clear from this show that was
shown around the world but the original shows shown in the U.K. it was,
for e.g. he has a Jamaican D.J… on the his show each week, which he
tries to talk to in Jamaican and has to refer to his "how to speak
Jamaican" book because the D.J. cant understand him. I just felt I had
to clear that up as it makes quite a big difference to how the
character comes across…Funny as opposed to offensive. Overall great
show with very much on-the-ball writers.

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full length Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story mpeg movies

September 20th, 2008 by freemoviedownloads

A True Underdog Story

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Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story Reviewed By Scott Weinberg Posted 06/18/04 15:01:58

"I loved every last frame of this inspired little sports comedy." (Awesome)

On my way home from enjoying the living hell out of "Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story" I realized that it was one of the best comedies to come out of Hollywood in about five years, and that I was as enthusiastic about recommending it as I could possibly be. This movie was a huge surprise, laden with laughs both truly silly and oddly subtle. It’s an absolute joy to sit through, and the fact that it’s basically a throwaway little sports comedy means very little. "Caddyshack" is a throwaway little sports comedy, too, and "Dodgeball" is perhaps the best movie of its kind since Harold Ramis’ classic golf farce from 1980."You’re going to give Dodgeball five stars?" is a question I’ve heard from a few colleagues, and the simple answer is "Yep!" I think it’s of paramount importance to judge a movie based on the filmmakers’ intentions. Clearly, Dodgeball is not Dangerous Liaisons, but judged solely on what it is (a rather juvenile slapstick sports comedy), Dodgeball is an entirely successful experiment and the first comedy to offer wall-to-wall laughs in quite some time.The plot is a paper-thin affair that recalls the classic old "slobs vs. snobs" sub-genre we all love so much. Peter Lefleur (Vince Vaughn) needs a quick cash infusion so he can save his decrepit little gym from bankruptcy. White Goodman (Ben Stiller) owns the mammoth high-tech gym across the street, and hopes to bulldoze Peter’s place to make room for a parking lot.Luckily there’s an upcoming dodgeball tournament that offers a $50,000 cash prize - and $50,000 is precisely what Pete needs to placate the bankers! How lucky! So now the enthusiastic losers that populate Average Joe’s gym must learn the ins and outs of dodgeball while avoiding the hilariously nefarious wrath of Mr. Goodman.If this all sounds fairly familiar, that’s because Dodgeball is, in addition to a supremely silly slapstick affair, a canny and clever satire of Sports Flicks in general. The humor ranges from broad and physical to base and vulgar, but I distinctly remember hearing an off-the cuff gag about schaudenfraude, too. There’s a raucous glee and zealous giddiness to the whole movie, and it’s an attitude that implies a group of actors who are clearly having a good time in front of the camera. And actors only seem to be having a good time in front of the cameras when they’re confident that what they’re making is actually funny.One could be forgiven for perhaps turning their nose up at whatever happens to be "the latest Ben Stiller movie". Although he’s clearly a truly funny man, Ben’s been featured in some bona-fide garbage over the last several months. (Envy? Duplex? C’mon, Ben!) So it’s very satisfying to announce that Stiller’s work here is the best work he’s done since There’s Something About Mary, diving into the comedic villain role with palpable glee. Shedding his oft-worn sheen of likable nebbishness, Stiller creates a blustery blowhard who’s both easy to hate and drop-dead hilarious.Capably serving as a counter-balance to Stiller’s rabid presence is Vince Vaughn, who smoothly delivers his most comfortable performance since Swingers. It’s as if Vaughn took the role of Lovable & Sarcastic Schnook to heart, studied the early works of Bill Murray, and showed up on the set ready to shine. Vaughn’s as likable here as he’s ever been, earning a solid parcel of laughs through sheer force of personality.One of the more annoying detriments of most Stiller / Vaughn comedies is that the leads generally hog all the laughs, and such is is absolutely not the case in Dodgeball. Although the two leads are clearly the centers of attention, there’s a ensemble full of giddy goons, all of whom get their own chance to shine. Rip Torn steals a few scenes as a gruff and violent dodgeball coach; Stephen Root (once again) proves himself one of Hollywood’s funniest character actors; Alan Tudyk snatches a few bizarre giggles playing a guy convinced he’s a pirate; Christine Taylor (Mrs. Ben Stiller) presents herself as a capable comedienne by holding her own among all these lunatics; Gary Cole and Jason Bateman show up late in the game to deliver some truly terrific bits as anchormen for ESPN8 ("The Ocho!")… heck, even the minor little cameo bits (from the likes of Hank Azaria, William Shatner and David Hasselhoff) earn bona-fide chuckles across the board.And it’s that simple formula that makes Dodgeball worthy of my most stunned and enthusiastic reaction: the movie is consistently funny for 90 straight minutes. How many other recent comedies can make that claim? Yes, it’s frequently silly and more than a little doofy, but one suspects that first-time writer/director Rawson Marshall Thurber knows full well how unapologetically slap-happy his movie is. That’s the movie he was trying to make.Since comedy is the most subjective of all the genres, your own giggle mileage may of course vary. But speaking as a guy who’s grown more than a little weary of the formula fare, "Dodgeball" is a crazy, colorful and effortlessly funny film. I had an absolute ball with "Dodgeball", I laughed throughout the whole thing, and I left the theater on a chuckle-induced buzz. To me that’s worthy of a 5-star rating every time.
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Cold Creek Manor full length movies

September 19th, 2008 by freemoviedownloads

Download Cold Creek Manor

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Cold Creek Manor Reviewed By Erik Childress Posted 09/19/03 15:23:04

"Dorff On Cape Fear" (Pretty Bad)

When people discuss the death of originality in Hollywood, it helps that movies like Cold Creek Manor gives them a finger to point at and four more as backup. What begins as an intriguing premise quickly loses its way into another domestic thriller where the secrets of the past catch up with new people or something like that. But how’s this for a hook? A family moves into a new home where a crime is not only unsolved, its also unfinished. What the hell that means I don’t know, but I’ll be damned if I’m not intrigued. But once you remove said mystery and replace it with what we’ll call the Dorff factor, there’s only minutes to count before someone’s gonna be fighting on the roof in a rainstorm.Dennis Quaid plays that documentarian, Cooper Tilson, who through a series of perfect excuses to hightail it out of the city with his family comes across the titular house in the country. His wife, Leah (Sharon Stone) obviously the breadwinner of the household (thanks to an unknown job that has her flying places) can just as easily leave behind career mysterioso and let her husband support them for awhile. Unless he was an editor on Bowling for Columbine, I’ld like to know where all that documentary money is flowing from. Cooper doesn’t let us in on it at first, but all the leftover memorabilia from the home’s previous family has inspired him to do a new piece about them. Don’t know how much money would be in it, but not a bad idea creatively speaking. Little did he know that Dale Massee of the Cold Creek Massees would show up in his house one afternoon looking through his old stuff like a redneck replicant. When you factor in that Dale is played by Stephen Dorff (Blade), its enough to keep us all on edge to what his intentions are, but, fresh out of prison, he assures everyone he’s just looking for a job to help renovate the ol’ fixer-upper. Right.Any hope for the mystery angle of this whole premise is dropped for the better part of an hour while this potential domestic invasion takes shape and we pray for one, just one surprise to develop. Don’t hold your breath. Not even when the house is overrun by snakes and director Mike Figgis does everything but plant buzzers and gummi worms on our seats. Not helping himself by supplying his own ridiculous over-the-top DUH-DA-DA! Score, this scene becomes so unbelievably comical that you can catch Stone laughing after Quaid lops the head off one of the slimy bastards. Then again, Stone is such a bad actress (and proving the case more than ever here) that she could just as easily misinterpreted what emotion she was supposed to play like after her husband mistakenly coldcocks her and all she can think to say is that he was right. Not about the punching, but it’s all interpretive. Let’s face it, Stone couldn’t act scared even if she looked in the mirror these days. The screenplay however is not as its just as flimsy as it appears despite establishing some interesting visual clues early on that will only be remembered again at the 80-minute mark. We get a walk-through of the home and know the exact place the bad guy will fall-through. We see the case full of “killing hammers” minus one (that always seems open until its necessary for a nutzoid to smash it to bits.) We delight in the friendly new neighbors delivering a horse to the daughter (Panic Room’s Kristen Stewart, put into a bikini so we know she’s a girl this time) which we know is too big for a boiling pot, but is bound to turn up floating somewhere. If I may digress along with the film for one moment, we’re made to believe that everyone around Quaid is stupid enough to believe he could have killed the horse in a DUI frenzy. We’re aware that he hit something with his car (we’re shown a deer get hit and then another cross the road safely), but not even Quaid breaks down the events logically. Whatever he hits causes minor damage to his left front side (a headlight and panel are busted.) If he hit a horse, wouldn’t the grill, trunk and Quaid’s face be somewhere implanted in the dashboard? If he DID hit the horse, was it just out of the stable for its nightly stroll along the highway? Did it manage to pick up the pieces and stumble back to the house before doing its flying horse impression into the pool? All of this reeks of disbelief within that middle hour where the film goes from The Thin Blue Line into Cape Fear and then settling into The Ring minus the supernatural element and social commentary. They just brought the well. I only wish I had received a phone call seven days before to warn me. Wouldn’t it have be slightly more interesting to have Quaid’s character piece together this family’s history, which up front suggests child abuse, murder and even incest? Would it have been so much to surprise us by NOT making Dorff just another run-of-the-mill bumpkin psychopath? Couldn’t Quaid have killed off the unrecognizable Christopher Plummer the same way he did in Dreamscape so we wouldn’t have to spend one more minute with him confusing scenery with chocolate-covered cherries?The most significant plot point I pulled away from all of Cold Creek Manor was that the Tilson family bought the place for only 10 grand more than Hanks and Long paid for The Money Pit back in ’86. A frequently confused critic asked me and another colleague at the end of the movie if the experimental Figgis (see: Timecode or Hotel) was trying to play with genres or even goof upon generic thrillers like this. “No, it’s just bad,” we told him. Then he asked if the movie was sitting on the shelf for a long period or recut to the point where it just made no sense. If so, then at least we’d know what the unfinished crime was.
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divx Railway Children, The video

September 19th, 2008 by freemoviedownloads

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Railway Children, The
Back in 1970 at the tender age of 23, I fell hopelessly in love with
Jenny Agutter - and remain so to this day. For it is this film for
which she will always be associated - and for the very best reasons. It
in no way typecast Miss Agutter, but clearly marked her as an actress
of outstanding ability.

Nesbit’s characters are brought to life by Lionel Jeffries production
in what must be one of literature’s most heart rending stories. It has
everything - pathos, compassion, empathy, humour, loyalty and love,
attributes once common in Great Britain, but sadly no longer.

Who can suppress those tears at Bobby’s discovery of her Father at the
station. "My Daddy… my Daddy…!" as she runs towards him?

This film should be available on prescription - it is indeed a tonic
for whatever ails you.

As for my love of Miss Agutter - it remains undiminished, and when I
see her today, I still see that porcelain complexion, those bewitching
eyes and that come hither smile.

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Heat movie download

September 18th, 2008 by freemoviedownloads

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Windy City Heat Reviewed By Erik Childress Posted 06/09/04 11:39:27

"Forget About It Perry, It’s Chi-Town. Let’s Play Two!" (Worth A Look)

Somewhere during the course of Windy City Heat, you expect Clarence Felder to pop-in and say “This could very well be the stupidest person on the face of the Earth.” I don’t mean to cast aspersions on Perry Caravello (Lord knows he’s been through enough) but audiences do have to consider nominating him for “Dunce of the Year”. And why stop there? Put him in the cinema hall-of-fame or at least on the ballot alongside Jim Carrey & Jeff Daniels in Dumb & Dumber and Bill Pullman in Ruthless People because Perry is set-up to be the victim of an elaborate prank without anyone coming out to stop it. I can’t say that I believe for a second that the joke isn’t on us, but believe the gag or not, the result turns out to be both side-clutching funny and a knowing satire of Hollywood’s inside world.Leave it to the minds behind Comedy Central’s Crank Yankers to pull this off. What’s unbelievable is that they have reportedly been pulling pranks on poor Perry for many, many years. This time out, they’ve set him up to audition for a major Hollywood production. That is, if a screenplay about a Sports Private Eye on the case of retrieving the stolen memorabilia of famous Chicago athletes can be called major. After all, Perry’s biggest competition for the role is none other than MTV’s Carson Daly. One of the film’s slyest jokes is a wall full of X’d stars considered for the lead including Brad Pitt, Harrison Ford and Robert DeNiro. Perry is last on the list, but Carson is right in the middle.After putting him through the audition process, Perry gets the role of Stone Fury (set to Michael Bolton’s Herculean anthem, “Go The Distance”) in what director Bobcat Goldthwait calls “One of the most exciting action films ever made…and it’s got drama in it.” His friends, Don Barris and stoner Tony “Mole” Barbieri have convinced him that he’s about to become a huge star and that their partnership (branded “The Big Three”) will become Hollywood’s next cause celebre. Anyone else would notice something’s amiss with producer John Quincy Adams and casting director Susan B. Anthony, but not Perry. (Fans will recognize Adams’ voice as sounding conspicuously like Yankers’ Miles Standish, played by one Tony Barbieri)Why Windy City Heat works beyond the idea of a clothesline for individual Punk’d pranks is how every one of them is so cleverly constructed and taps into Perry’s own personal insecurities including homophobia and being lactose intolerant. Its knocks on rampaging star egos and backstage Hollywood shenanigans approach the inspiration of Spinal Tap. Some are Perry’s lines about why he can’t do porn and his “fetish” are so perfect that it’s hard to believe some genius comedy writer didn’t script them. But who cares, because like I said, it works either way just as well.Windy City Heat is going to pick up more and more fans as time goes on. It’s appeal will range from aficionados of Crank Yankers, reality show loathers, Hollywood satirists and just flat-out lovers of frantic comedy. It’s no joke that Goldthwait is now associated with two underappreciated comic gems (the first being his directorial debut, Shakes The Clown), although the cult status on this is likely to evolve sooner than later into a full-blown fan base. Maybe you’ll think you’ve been Blair Witch’d again or maybe Perry is the next Andy Kaufman in waiting. Whatever reasoning you believe is justified, it’s liable to be drowned out by that sound you hear when laughing your ass off.
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Den of Lions divx movi

September 18th, 2008 by freemoviedownloads

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Den of Lions” is another one of those we-get-a-hefty-tax-break-if-we-film-in-eastern-Europe movies. It comes from the experts in the genre, Millennium Films, which has built a reputation in the past few years as being the home of cheap direct-to-video actioners, all of them shot in Hungary, Romania, and the like, and most of them starring Jean Claude Van Damme. This time, we get Stephen Dorff in the lead role (Stephen Seagal must have been busy), with Bob Hoskins slumming as the Russian mob boss.

Needless to say, Hoskins is the only thing worth watching here. His is obviously one of those jobs that found the actor filming all of his scenes in just two or three days, and he clearly doesn’t care how well anything else turns out. There’s a goofy scene where his character, quite angry, tears a phone in half, then stomps on the remains for good measure. It’s an apology of sorts from Hoskins to the viewer, as if to say, “Sorry you’re stuck watching this garbage, here’s one wacked-out scene to make up for the pain.”

And what pain it is. Dorff plays Mike Varga, an FBI agent who - you guessed it - Doesn’t Play By the Rules. When we first meet him, his unauthorized rescue of a kidnapped woman results in plenty of property damage, car stunts, and big ’splosions, which, of course, does not make his grumpy boss happy. Dammit, why can’t Varga play by the rules? Anyway, for reasons the plot sorta requires, the Hungarian government, having problems dealing with the Russian mafia, has called for help from the FBI. And so they send Varga, who was born in Hungary and who speaks the language (never mind that the entire film is in English, with only a few kinda-thick accents telling us where we’re supposed to be). Varga goes undercover, working for godfather Darius Paskevic (Hoskins); his main job is watching over Darius’ sexy daughter, Katya (Laura Fraser). Varga falls for Katya, has a crisis of loyalty, blah blah blah, etc., etc., etc.

If you’re still not convinced just how shoddy and clichéd this feature is, consider the screenplay, which tosses us such brilliant lines as “I didn’t want to fall for you, but I did.” Yeesh. Should I also mention that scene in which Dorff says “the gig’s up” instead of “the jig’s up?” Yes, I probably should. Oh, and what about the scene in which a character is shot, with one more squib exploding on his chest than there should be if we’re counting the sounds of gunshots? Yeah, that definitely deserves a mention; as movie goofs go, that’s a biggie.

Director James Bruce tries to hip things up (or, at least, hide his low budget) with a series of flashy jump cuts, quick zooms, and other such gimmickry. It’s designed to make things look all actiony-cool, but it’s actually just tedious. Bruce’s only other trick in getting the viewer’s attention is through flesh - the backdrop of prostitution allows for random gratuitous nudity that’s bound to please the DTV renter who picks this sort of title up just to see some quick, cheap action and maybe some skin.

Then again, “Den of Lions” might not even win over the B movie crowd after all, not even those renters willing to keep a heavy thumb on the fast-forward button. The plot-heavy storyline is too uninspired and downright dull to keep one’s interest, while the action sequences are weak and lacking in many thrills.

The DVD

Video

The 1.85:1 anamorphic presentation is pretty good, as is expected from a recent feature. Aside from a rare grain-heavy shot here and there, the transfer is clean and impressive, far better than a movie this lame deserves.

Audio

This is one lousy soundtrack, but I’m hesitant to blame the DVD itself. (After all, the Dolby 5.1 mix is clean and makes decent use of the surround feature, when it can, at least.) Many of the actors seem to be dubbed over, either with new voice actors or in post-production looping; in both cases, the sound quality often fails to match the rest of the scene. It’s very off-putting - as is the tendency for the overall sound to come in and out at odd times. I’m going to chalk it up to lousy production values. Also at issue is the musical score, which sounds like it’s being played on a cheap tape recorder with a broken motor. That this warble sounds intentional only makes it more obnoxious.

Extras

None.

Final Thoughts

Den of Lions” was produced over three years ago, only to join the ranks of low budget efforts purchased and then shelved by Miramax. While for some films, this has been unfair treatment, here it’s a well-deserved delay. That this movie has been unceremoniously dumped onto bare-bones DVD under the Dimension label so long after the downfall of Miramax is probably the best treatment a movie this lame could hope to get. Even if you’re a hardcore direct-to-video B movie junkie, there’s no reason not to Skip It.
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Night on Earth full length movie

September 17th, 2008 by freemoviedownloads

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Night on Earth Reviewed By the Grinch Posted 07/07/02 13:19:03

"I wonder if DeNiro’s segment was cut…" (Worth A Look)

In the tradition of vignettes of yore (not to be confused with ‘Outlaws of Gor’), Night on Earth cobbles together the sordid moments of a few people across the globe who have little in common except their "human condition" and the profession they share…Probably the weakest part of Night on Earth is it’s opening segment with Wynona Ryder. Couldn’t Wynona have shoplifted some books on method-acting from a Barnes & Noble somewhere? I don’t think Wynona could act her way through an orgasm, and I’m willing to take her up on that challenge! She mushmouths and mutters half her lines worse than Marlon Brando making out with Boomhauer from ‘King of the Hill’, all while talking out the side of her mouth like Kevin Neeland’s Subliminal Man and doing her patented "Riot Grrl" act where she purses her lips in a permanent scowl and calls it "acting".I just had to get that out of the way…Wynona sucks, and is one of the most overrated actors of this generation, but luckily she’s the first hurdle of the film (the second being a cameo with Rosie Perez, who is a hurdle-whose-voice-makes-artificial-creamer-curdle in any movie), but what’s left over is actually quite involving and entertaining. Beatrice Dalle is oddly alluring as a bat-blind French girl at odds with the abrasive questions of her ignorant Ivory Coast cab driver, played by Isaach De Bankolé. The interaction and dialog between the two is some of the best in the film, and Dalle’s comebacks will have you rolling in the aisles like an artifical butter and hair-covered jujube (sorry if I conjured any thoughts of Ed Asner). Dalle should’ve gotten Wynona’s role, while Wynona should’ve gotten the role of "fluffer" in the porn movie filming down the hall. ‘Night on Earth‘ also features a segment with Roberto Begnini as an immature, obnoxious Italian cabbie (imagine that!) whose only late-night fare is a catholic priest from the vatican. Begnini begins to confess his rather, ahem, ODD sexual vices, and of course hilarity ensues.Despite its weak opener with Iwanna Rideher, ‘Night on Earth‘ will please both the patient and fans of character-driven arthouse cinema. I’ve not seen all of Jarmusch’s films, but this movie is one that leads me to believe he’s not a TOTAL hack, after having suffered through Neil Young’s drunken guitar noodlings and Jarmusch’s dull and uninspired direction in 1995’s ‘Dead Man’. And I apologize, Wynona, but JEEZUS, GET IT TOGETHER!
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full length Mexican, The videos

September 17th, 2008 by freemoviedownloads

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Mexican, The Reviewed By iF Magazine Posted 03/03/01 06:53:15

"Some of this movie is truly inspired. Most of it is kinda painful." (Average)

The title element of THE MEXICAN is not a person, but rather a unique, Mexican-made pistol. Much like its hero, the film gets off to a catastrophic start but somewhat (though not entirely) redeems itself as it finds its footing. To a large extent, the best aspect of the movie is also a structural drawback – an unexpectedly captivating subplot tends to make the main storyline seem almost anticlimactic.THE MEXICAN starts literally with a bang as we hear (but don’t see) one car slam into another at a North Hollywood traffic intersection. Cut to a couple in bed together, both deliriously happy. Their togetherness can’t last. Jerry (Brad Pitt) is doing such a poor job of working for some local wiseguys that his life is endangered, along with his job. Sam (Julia Roberts) sees Jerry’s efforts to placate his violent bosses as selfish obsession with his own needs, as opposed to tending to her wishes.When she first opens her mouth, Sam is such a neurotic harpy that if she were played by anyone but above-the-title star Roberts, we’d assume the point of the sequence is to show us that Jerry is about to be free of Ms. Wrong. Since we are meant to instead actively root for their reunion, this is not perhaps the best of all beginnings. Jerry’s mobster overseers make him go to Mexico to retrieve both a young man and the Mexican gun. Partly due to bad luck and partly due to lack of alertness, Jerry promptly gets into such hot water on arrival that his employers mistakenly believe they’re being double-crossed. To coerce Jerry’s cooperation, they have Sam kidnapped.It is here that THE MEXICAN comes surprisingly to life. This is partly because J.H. Wyman’s script starts to have fun with twists and characterization and partly because Sam becomes human and sweet and funny, instead of a shrieking cartoon. However, more than any other single factor, THE MEXICAN picks up enormously because of the presence of James Gandolfini, whose professional kidnapper is in many ways a riff on his SOPRANOS character. Gandolfini plays his matter-of-fact, introspective hoodlum with such assurance and complexity – and gets such good writing – that when he’s onscreen, we start to feel that the movie is about him, with Roberts providing energetic, warm support that makes her thoroughly endearing.Unfortunately, THE MEXICAN finally returns to its main business. By now, it has built up some goodwill, as have Sam and Jerry, but it still loses momentum. We wind up able to tolerate them as a couple, but the dynamic between them set at the beginning casts a long shadow that prevents actual enthusiasm, as does a milder but still irritating current of Sam’s life-threatening irrationality. The film takes pains to establish that a lot of the Mexican characters use patient restraint when dealing with the dumb, culturally bigoted gringos, but on the other hand, there are a lot of stereotypes of both the scummy and proud varieties. There’s a story-within-a-story conceit that’s entertaining, even if it’s meant to be more fascinating than it is, and a relatively acceptable explanation of why most of the characters (save Sam) behave as they do. Gore Verbinski’s direction has the punctuation of comedy, which strangely both detracts from and serves the film. Jokes are often punched so hard that the humor is undercut, but some dramatic moments are handled with a matter-of-factness that provides genuine chills.Roberts throws herself into Sam in a way that is perversely admirable. Her conviction and emphasis are not to be faulted; this is an instance of a performer being faithful to the intent of the material at the cost of her own image. Pitt’s gift for slow-burn astonishment is an asset in his portrayal of the none-too-swift but decent Jerry. Bob Balaban exudes pure cold nastiness as a mob high-up and J.K. Simmons is good as Jerry’s floundering colleague.It’s hard to sum up THE MEXICAN. Some of it is inspired, some of it is painful and a lot of it is modestly diverting. This is a case where various parts far outshine the whole.– Abbie Bernstein
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Bone Collector, The

The Bone Collector **1/2 (out of 5)   (1999)

Cast: Denzel Washington, Angelina Jolie, Queen Latifah, Michael Rooker

Directed By Phillip Noyce

Perhaps the biggest problem with the faceless killer gimmick is that when you finally see who the perpetrator is, more often than not  the revelation sinks the film from being effective to laughably ludicrous. THE BONE COLLECTOR is no exception.

The plot deals with a quadriplegic forensic expert who tries to solve a series of grizzly murders while in constant contact with a female cop who acts as his eyes and ears for the crime scene. The murderer leaves a series of clues which form a pattern to the murders but always seems just a step ahead of the law.

There’s no doubt Denzel Washington is a fine actor. It’s too bad he just can’t seem to pick cop films that are any good. THE MIGHTY QUINN, RICOCHET, VIRTUOSITY, DEVIL IN A BLUE DRESS, FALLEN, and THE SIEGE rank among his least significant or memorable movies in his distinguished career. THE BONE COLLECTOR is the latest in his long series of police thriller mediocrity.  The only exception to this rule has been TRAINING DAY.

As a film, THE BONE COLLECTOR owes much to SEVEN for much of its style and content. Both films feature a genius of a sadistic killer who leaves interrelated clues in a gothic manner where we don’t see the killer’s identity until well into the film. THE BONE COLLECTOR is effective in its style as dictated by director Phillip Noyce, who is probably the sole reason the film maintains interest for most of the way. What ultimately lets the film down is the hammy and overblown revelation of the killer and the subsequent explanations for the reasons why.

People in the mood for an interesting thriller may find THE BONE COLLECTOR a passable diversion, but few will be able to look past the manipulative plot full of holes and the painfully bad ending to deem it a good film.

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Reviewed by Glenn Erickson


A gargantuan version of Tolstoy’s national epic, approached as a priority as important as the Soviet
space program, War and Peace is surely the biggest production
ever put on film, with entire armies filling the screen and covering vast landscapes. The recreation
of the Napoleonic era in St. Petersburg and Moscow is a wonderment. Director Sergei Bondarchuk
makes the story work even better at the intimate level. The romantic adventures and heartbreaks
of the story’s central trio, Pierre, Natasha and Andrei lead to at least 4 or 5 devastatingly
emotional highpoints.


Previously, there was the 1956
Dino DeLaurentiis version. Except for
some awkward casting, it wasn’t half bad, but it pales beside the opulence and scope of this colossus.
Ruscico’s version is both longer and better-presented than previous releases, and Image has packaged
it with helpful extras and easily-navigated menus. More on that below.


Synopsis (spoiler-laden):


Film 1: Andrei Bolkonsky, parts one and two (140 minutes): The sweeping story of
Russian nobility during the Napoleonic wars starts in 1805. At the Moscow Rostovs, young Natasha
(Lyudmila Savelyeva) is a child dreaming of romantic affairs. Frequent guest Pierre Bezukhov
(Sergei Bondarchuk, the director) takes a serious liking to her. Russia allies with Austria against
Napoleon, and Prince Andrei Bolkonsky (Vyacheslav Tikhonov) parks his pregnant wife in the country
with his father and sister, while he goes to fight. For Natasha’s brother Nikolai it is a first
battle. Back in Moscow,
Pierre is easily pressured into marriage with the beautiful but decadent Hélène,
who is soon rumored to be taking lovers. Pierre challenges one of them to a duel, and has
a crisis of conscience after wounding the man severely. Andrei returns to his country home just in
time to see his wife die in childbirth. He determines that life is worthless
until Spring comes and
the world seems to be reborn.

Film 2: Natasha Rostova (93 minutes): At a glorious ball, Natasha is a wallflower until
the meek Pierre encourages Andrei to dance with her, whereupon both fall gloriously in love. Andrei
carefully proposes through her family, electing to wait a year before marriage. A year seems like
forever to the still-immature Natasha. She goes on a wolf hunt and to the opera,
where, with the connivance of Hélène, young wastrel Kuraghin catches
her eye. Falling in love, and not realizing what will happen, Natasha agrees to elope with
the scoundrel, a fate barely avoided by the intervention of her sister and Pierre. Andrei breaks off
their engagement,
and Natasha believes her life to be over at age 17.

Film 3: 1812 (78 minutes): A new invasion of Russia is undertaken by Napoleon, and Andrei
once again takes up his sword. His father remains in denial as the French advance steadily
across Western Russia.
Pierre takes leave of Natasha to go observe the big battle at Borodino, and speaks to Andrei the night before.
The battle is an enormous clash of thousands of troops, and at the end the French prevail. Andrei
is
seriously wounded.

Film 4: Pierre Bezukhov (92 minutes) The main Russian general realizes he can’t stop
the French, and so elects to abandon Moscow without a fight, burning all useful resources on the way.
Millions become refugees, and the rich of Moscow flee East. Pierre disguises himself as a common
citizen with the vain idea of taking personal revenge on the invaders, but instead makes friends with
a French
officer who moves into his apartment. The Russians refuse to parlay with Napoleon, and leave him in
a dead city with the poor. His soldiers loot tons of booty they can’t possibly carry
home. Pierre is arrested as an arsonist but is spared the death penalty. He witnesses a mass execution
and is sent on a march by the French. On the
refugee trail East, the Rostovs take in the mortally wounded Andrei, and he and Natasha spend time
together declaring their love. When Napoleon quits the city, the Russian winter closes in to decimate
his army as they withdraw. Pierre and Natasha are reunited.


Savant was excited to see this pricey-but-exceptional DVD release; Ruscico has a reputation for
quality releases of hard-to-see Soviet pictures, and War and Peace is certainly the prize
title, at least for Western audiences unfamiliar with the majority of Mosfilm’s output. I saw the
American release when 16 years old, serialized over two weeks in a fancy theater in San Bernardino.
I can’t say I followed the story well, and mostly remember the grainy, washed out picture and
the distracting English dubbing - Natasha’s voice squeaked like Minnie Mouse. But the eye-popping
visuals stayed burned into my memory, especially a God’s eye view, receding into the heavens, of the
Austerlitz battlefield spread out below. It looked as if it took in miles of smoke and fighting.


In Russian with subs in a number of languages, the new Ruscico / Image DVD is a completely different viewing
experience.  
1
The Russian voices are beautiful, and it’s easy to catch cultural things we had only
read about, such as the St. Petersburg elite opting to speak French for many conversational details.
It’s not 70mm, but on a big widescreen television, the scope of the visuals can be almost
overwhelming.


Director Bondarchuk makes a brooding, introverted Pierre, too shy to dance at a ball and easily
convinced of his insignificance, even as he’s inheriting a massive estate. His adoration of
Natasha is matched only by his belief that he’s unworthy of her. He makes an excellent foil for the
dashing, closed-minded Prince Andrei, a traditionalist who chides Pierre for his scandalous
associations, But Andrei boorishly persecutes his own loving wife because he feels tied down by
family obligations. Both men evolve very interestingly through the story, experiencing the tumultuous
events and their mutual love of Natasha from different perspectives.


Lyudmila Savelyeva is radiant as Natasha, starting as a pixie dreaming girlish dreams and bursting
with childish enthusiasm. Her miniature features and expressive eyes are a depthless
repository of feminine romanticism. Besides the big ball, she performs a show-stopping
folk dance at her Uncle’s place in the country. Clearly meant to be the soul of everything precious
in Russia, the character is a big success.


Bondarchuk had resources to dwarf American epics, but all of War and Peace is
sublimated to a cinematic vision, even the large battle scenes. If there’s any doubt this is a
classic Russian movie, it goes away with the entrance of Natasha, bursting through some doors in
three Potemkinish cascading short cuts that end on her beaming face. The camera stays put
when it’s proper to do so, but when the director has something to express, it trucks and pans and
cranes and tilts, and seemingly flies through the air. The big ballroom dance dissolves into West
Side Story
- like blurs and soft colors, and then the camera whips around in dizzying waltz
circles, or flies down the hall
watching the dancers from on high. Bondarchuk introduces little choreographed cuts by flashing a
fan in front of the camera, a device that is unusually successful. The only ’showoff’ trick that
didn’t work for Savant was a later tense scene where the director inserts subliminal flash frames at
every cut point … it just seemed distracting.



When the story is taken over by author Tolstoy’s abstract thoughts, the characters often look for
answers in the sky, and Bondarchuk will often accompany disembodied speeches with aerial shots of
clouds and vast landscapes, such as seen in the main titles. These provide an endistancing break
from the melodrama on the ground. The high aerial shots are always at a conceptual
remove from the narrative, so that we don’t get the feeling that the 1812 era is being hyped with
visuals alien to the historical experience.



Bondarchuk was criticized by some reviewers in 1967 for his eclecticism; in one scene he might have
split screens that seem to come from Pillow Talk, and multi-imaged superimpositions that
evoke Metropolis. There is an Abel Gance tendency toward camera gymnastics, but most of the
film is visually straightforward. Bondarchuk is a classicist who makes the camera do some of the
acting, and the result is by and large a big success.



I mentioned the 4 or 5 emotional high-points of the picture, most of which are heavy-duty dramatic
scenes - Natasha’s hysteria at having her elopement foiled, Pierre’s witnessing of the firing
squads, the death of Andrei’s young wife. In a Western film, we might expect the music to play a
larger role in dictating the tone of the drama; most Hollywood epics lean heavily on their scores for
their emotional telegraphy. War and Peace builds its emotional climaxes mostly through
unadorned theatrics, and giant closeups. But its battle scenes, the extended battle of Borodino,
especially, have an impact that I don’t think I’ve seen in any other epic.



Savant loves giant battle scenes and always admires the huge organizational patterns of masses of
people moving in concert for the camera. Knowing how difficult it is to get just one actor to open
one door and not look false, the moving panoramas of soldiers and organized mayhem in shows
like Zulu Dawn are impressive displays of movies as a giant engine of movement. War and Peace
outdoes them all for sheer vastness of
scale and precision of effect. The gigantic computer-animated battles in The Two Towers are
impressive, but this is 100% real - and there’s no substitute for the suspension of disbelief
provided by real armies clashing on a real battlefield.


What we get is a poetic representation of the chaos of warfare, not a layout of strategies we
can read or follow as a story. The overall image is of total insanity, the energies and lives
of tens of thousands of men destroyed in armed conflict. A master shot
might have a crane or a dolly or start with a wide shot and end up on a detail. In many masters it
looks as though tens of thousands of soldiers and horses are rushing every which way, marching in
set patterns. There are some shots of massed diamond-shape formations moving across the landscape,
like a carpet of men. The longer it goes on, the more elaborate it gets.


Bondarchuk’s experts use smoke as a choreographed element. As plumes of cannon-hits are seen erupting
from the foreground to what might be a mile away, the wind carries clouds of black and white smoke
across the screen in patterns that accentuate the blind chaos of what it must meant to be in this
kind of a fight. Bright sunshine turns to dark shadow and back again as the smoke ebbs and flows.


Nobody has the big picture of this struggle, not even the commanders, who sit helplessly while their
rigid battle plans collapse around them. The rules of combat put ceremony before the lives of the
soldiers; Andrei’s company waits in reserve, but loses a third of its men to shelling, as they stand
in their formal lines.


When Bondarchuk decides to move his camera through the melee, we get perhaps ten unbroken minutes of
continuous amazement. Hundreds of cavalrymen charge a small hill. A long line of horsemen on that
hill disperse to reveal cannon that all fire at once - the camera whips left to see the entire
wave of enemy horses tumble to the ground. Cameras on rails truck past men climbing ladders and
stairs, and race down trenches as dozens of horses leap overhead. It’s like a battle for the end of the
world, and the pacing and emphasis is flawless. One overhead wide angle view, rushing downward over
the heads of soldiers fighting hand-to-hand makes the viewer feel like a cannonball crashing to Earth.





Ruscico’s DVD of War and Peace is handsomely presented on 4 discs in a thankfully
easy-to-understand
package. The transfer image isn’t going to be able to compete with restorations done here, however.
War and Peace was shot in a Soviet color system in 70mm, and the colors are a muted set of
pastels we aren’t used to. Either the age of the elements, or the reduction printing, or
bad storage has given many scenes a dupey look, with slightly fluctuating contrast. The image
is stable and intact, but there are occasional scratches and slight damage.


The encoding is also not top-end. Battle scenes with the choreographed smoke usually look fine, but
occasional images have artifacting, the kind of image popping when details don’t update with every
frame. When Andrei is wounded, the camera swoops up to give a view of the whole valley, and the
artifacting makes a mess of the foliage as it pans by.


Either that one bad shot was an isolated instance, or most of the time we’re too caught up in the story to
notice such things. I should
point out that I viewed the discs on a 65″ monitor that magnifies these kinds of flaws, so many
viewers will probably be completely unaware of them.


The DVD producers have included a generous allotment of extras, listed below. A fifth disc contains
a couple of Soviet docus on Tolstoy and an elaborate commemorative behind-the-scenes piece. It
starts with the stars at a Moscow premiere, and then backtracks to show how many scenes were filmed.
The cameraman is on roller skates in the ballroom scene, and a trucking scene through the battlefield
shows exactly how some of the more amazing shots were captured. The cameramen use portable 70mm
cameras of a kind I’ve never seen, that look every bit as sophisticated as ours.



The docus from the 60s show how far apart Russia and America were at the height of the Cold War
competition.
A Tolstoy piece ends with one of the author’s statements about freedom, and the Russian editors
show anti-war riots in the West, as if the only suppression of human rights were happening on
our side of the Iron Curtain. A shot of a protester’s American flag with a skull on it is
prominently displayed. The narration stresses collective action, with ‘comrade’ this, and ‘comrade’ that
heard; the stars’ names go mostly unmentioned.



In one of the interviews, the President of the Mosfilm studio says that after the years of filming,
War and Peace wasn’t unanimously praised in the Soviet Union. Everybody saw it, but not
everyone thought it was a masterpiece. Audiences are audiences, Russian or American, and after
those 4 or 5 transcendant moments in the picture, the ending does seem rather downplayed and
anti-climactic. But seeing the show now after 35 more years of film history, this enormous epic seems
more of an accomplishment than ever.






On a scale of Excellent, Good, Fair, and Poor,
War and Peace rates:

Movie: Excellent

Video: Good

Sound: Very good

Supplements: 5-disc set, Behind-the-scenes featurette, Interviews with actors Irina
Skobtseva and Vassily Lanovoy, cinematographer Anatoly Petritsky, composer Vycheslav
Ovchinnikov, and Mosfilm Studios president Karen Shakhnazarov, Leo Tolstoy documentary,
Art direction and set design studies, Cast and crew filmographies


Packaging: double folding plastic and paper cases in card sleeve.

Reviewed: April 27, 2003




Footnote:



1. There’s an English
dubbed track as well, but I’m told that it reverts to un-subtitled Russian here and there. This
makes sense
if the information is true that the movie was cut by 45 minutes for Western release: the
un-dubbed scenes are probably the ones cut upon export. Hopefully those who care enough to seek out
this disc will listen to it in its fascinating original Russian track anyway.
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